I’ll tell you a story that is no sham,
In Holland lived a merchant man,
And ev’ry morning he says, ‘I am
The richest merchant in Amsterdam.’
Ri-tiddy tillori-lori-ladditi tiddy tillori-lorilee.
One day he sat as full as an egg
When a poor relation came in to beg,
And kicking him out with a brogue and a keg,
And kicking him out he broke his leg.
Ri-tiddy tillori-lori-ladditi tiddy tillori-lorilee.
He told his friends he had got hurt,
‘By a friend I have lost a foot,
And upon crutches, I never will walk
For I’ll have a beautiful leg of cork.’
Ri-tiddy tillori-lori-ladditi tiddy tillori-lorilee.
A doctor came on his vocation
And over it made a long oration,
And over it made a long oration
And finished it off with an amputation.
Ri-tiddy tillori-lori-ladditi tiddy tillori-lorilee.
When the leg was on and finished right,
When the leg was on they screwed it tight,
But still he went with a bit of a hop,
When he found the leg it wouldn’t stop.
Ri-tiddy tillori-lori-ladditi tiddy tillori-lorilee.
O’er hedges and ditches and scaur and plain
To rest his weary limbs he’d fain.
He threw himself down but all in vain,
The leg got up and away again.
Ri-tiddy tillori-lori-ladditi tiddy tillori-lorilee.
He called to them that were in sight,
‘Stop me or I’m wounded quite.’
Although their aid he did invite
In less than a minute he was out of sight.
Ri-tiddy tillori-lori-ladditi tiddy tillori-lorilee.
And he kept running from place to place,
The people thought he was running a race;
He clung to a post for to stop the pace
But the leg it still kept up the chase.
Ri-tiddy tillori-lori-ladditi tiddy tillori-lorilee.
O’er hedges and ditches and plain and scaur
And Europe he has travell’d o’er,
Although he’s dead and is no more
The leg goes on as it did before.
Ri-tiddy tillori-lori-ladditi tiddy tillori-lorilee.
So often you see in broad daylight
A skeleton on a cork leg tight,
Although the artist did not him invite,
He never was paid and it served him right.
Ri-tiddy tillori-lori-ladditi tiddy tillori-lorilee.