Winifred / Chorus: Oh, sly cigarette!
Oh fie, cigarette!
Why did you teach me to love you so,
When I have to pretend that I don’t, you know?

Winifred: Oh, after school
To garden cool
How sweet it is to vanish;
To dream away
Our time of play,
In smoke our lessons banish.
My head you turn’d
When first I learn’d
My little friend to pet you;
I coughed and chok’d
Each time I smok’d,
But still I’m glad I met you. Ah!

Winifred / Chorus: Oh, sly cigarette …

Aubrey Hopwood (1863-1917)
Greenbank, Harry (1865-1899)

Winifred / Chorus: And the boy guessed right the very first time,
He guessed right away it was not a cricket bat,
I wonder how he came to think of that!

Winifred: That boy grew older and he fell in love,
With a girl just as pretty as a rose,
He was sure he adored her all the world above,
But yet he was frightened to propose.
He paid her some tender little compliments,
Said her eyes were of a lovely blue,
So the maiden growing bolder,
Laid her head upon his shoulder,
Saying ‘Guess how I dream of you!’

Winifred / Chorus: And the boy guessed right the very first time,
He guessed right away that he’d got to take a flat,
A husband always has to think of that!

Winifred: That boy got married in a year or so,
He found her a treasure of a wife,
They lived in a happy little flat you know,
Theirs was a happy little life.
And one fine morning people came and said,
That they’d got to show him something new,
And they let him have a peep,
At a bundle half asleep,
Saying ‘Guess what we’ve got for you!’

Winifred / Chorus: And the boy guessed right the very first time,
He knew by the sound it was not a pussy cat,
It’s funny how he came to think of that!

Lionel Monckton (1861-1924)